Tolerating Uncertainty: A Mindfulness Approach

“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. We try to do what we think is going to work rather than what actually might work. Without giving up hope—that there’s somewhere better to be, that there’s someone better to be—we will never relax with where we are or who we are.”

— Pema Chödrön

In a world that feels increasingly unpredictable, uncertainty has become an unavoidable part of our daily lives. Whether it’s economic instability, global crises, health concerns, or personal challenges, uncertainty can trigger anxiety, stress, and a sense of powerlessness.

Pema Chödrön’s words remind us that learning to sit with uncertainty rather than fight against it is the key to finding peace. When we fixate on controlling the unknown, we create more tension. But when we allow “room for not knowing,” we open ourselves to greater resilience, flexibility, and even transformation.

As a therapist, I often see clients struggle with the unknown, seeking certainty in situations where it simply does not exist. But what if the goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty, but rather to develop resilience in the face of it? Psychological research and mindfulness practices offer powerful tools to help us tolerate uncertainty, regain a sense of control, and find peace amidst the unknown.

Why Is Uncertainty So Hard to Tolerate?

Our brains are wired to seek certainty. From an evolutionary perspective, predictability meant survival. If our ancestors could anticipate threats, they had a better chance of avoiding danger. In today’s world, however, uncertainty often does not signal immediate danger—but our brains still react as if it does.

This can lead to:

• Anxiety and worry – The mind tries to “solve” uncertainty by ruminating on worst-case scenarios.

• Avoidance – We may delay decisions or procrastinate to escape the discomfort of not knowing.

• Seeking control – Overplanning, excessive researching, or needing constant reassurance can create an illusion of certainty but often backfires, increasing stress.

However, since life is inherently uncertain, resisting it only increases suffering. Instead, we can learn to develop psychological flexibility, emotional resilience, and mindfulness to navigate the unknown with greater ease.

How to Cultivate Tolerance for Uncertainty

1. Recognize and Accept Uncertainty

The first step is acknowledging that uncertainty is a natural and inevitable part of life. Instead of seeing it as a problem to be solved, try shifting your perspective:

• Remind yourself: “I don’t have to like uncertainty, but I can handle it.”

• Recognize when you are engaging in excessive worry or control-seeking behaviors and gently redirect your focus.

Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation—it means making peace with reality and focusing on what you can control.

2. Challenge the Illusion of Control

We often believe that if we plan enough, think enough, or analyze enough, we can eliminate uncertainty. But no amount of planning can predict every possible outcome.

Try asking yourself:

• “What is within my control right now?” (e.g., my actions, my responses)

• “What is outside of my control?” (e.g., other people’s decisions, world events)

• “Am I trying to control the uncontrollable?”

Refocusing on the present moment instead of hypothetical fears can free up mental energy and reduce anxiety.

3. Practice Mindfulness to Stay Grounded

Mindfulness helps us stay present rather than getting caught in a loop of anxious thoughts about the future. When uncertainty feels overwhelming, try:

• Deep breathing – Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for six counts.

• Body scan meditation – Notice tension in your body and intentionally release it.

• Anchoring exercises – Focus on what you can see, hear, and feel right now to stay present.

By regularly practicing mindfulness, we train our brains to respond to uncertainty with awareness rather than reactivity.

4. Develop a “Both-And” Mindset

Instead of thinking in extremes (e.g., “Either I know what will happen, or everything will fall apart”), try embracing the paradox:

• “I don’t know what the future holds, and I can still move forward.”

• “This is uncertain, and I am capable of handling whatever comes my way.”

This mindset shift allows space for discomfort without letting it paralyze you.

5. Build Emotional Resilience Through Self-Compassion

When faced with uncertainty, it’s easy to become self-critical. You may think, “Why can’t I handle this better?” or “I should be able to figure this out.” Instead, practice self-compassion:

• Acknowledge your struggle: “This is hard.”

• Recognize that you’re not alone—uncertainty is a universal human experience.

• Speak to yourself with kindness, just as you would to a friend: “I am doing the best I can.”

By treating yourself with gentleness, you reduce emotional distress and increase your ability to navigate difficult situations.

6. Take Small, Intentional Actions

Even when life feels unpredictable, small intentional actions can create stability:

• Stick to daily routines, even when external circumstances change.

• Focus on short-term goals rather than trying to predict long-term outcomes.

• Take one step forward, even if you don’t know what comes next.

Action fosters momentum and confidence, making uncertainty feel less overwhelming.

Final Thoughts: Uncertainty as a Teacher

Pema Chödrön’s wisdom reminds us that resisting uncertainty only increases suffering—but when we learn to make peace with not knowing, we can find clarity and strength.

If you find yourself struggling with uncertainty, remind yourself:

You have navigated unknowns before—and you will again.

You are stronger and more adaptable than you realize.

You don’t have to know everything to take the next step.

By shifting your relationship with uncertainty, you can move from fear to curiosity, from anxiety to resilience, and from resistance to acceptance.

Know that you don’t have to navigate these times alone. Working with a psychologist can help you foster a healthier relationship with uncertainty so that you can move from a life of resistance to a life with greater peace.